Looks like I am IT…

My very nice and lovely friend and gardener extraordinaire, Genie, has tagged me and I have never been tagged before so I will play along. It will be hard to come up with 5 things you don’t know about me because I tend to tell that embarrassing stuff that you are supposed to hide but I blab it out there, SO, hm.

1. Once, I burped on the radio (did I already tell that???). I was drinking chocolate milk and eating a chocolate snack pie for breakfast. My Dad was a DJ at the time and took me to work that day. I was sitting in the booth with him and right before he popped in a commercial (yes, this was so long ago, they were on TAPES), I burped my chocolate milk and pie. Loudly. Later that day my Dad had the dreaded DEAD AIR because I needed help on the toilet and I took longer than the long song he had put on. Yes, this was an album with a turntable and unfortunately he put the last song on that side and it skipped, and skipped, and skipped, and skipped and he got into a heap of trouble. In radio, time is money and dead air doesn’t make anyone any money. He got in big trouble.

2. I am morbidly afraid of guns. There is a well known gun shop on the corner of Taylor and Harford near where I lived as a little girl. Every time we drove past it I would hunker down in my seat and close my eyes because I was afraid someone would walk out and shoot me. It seemed impossible to me that you could just into a store and BUY a gun. Guns are for the military and police. People who are specially trained how not to use them and if they half to, how do it as safely as possible. Why on earth would anyone want the abilty to shoot another person when killing them is the likely outcome? I don’t think I saw a gun, police and security guards don’t count, until I was almost 20 and it scared the fucking shit out of me.

3. I once spit at a Llama. I was 4 and there used to be roaming Llamas at my local zoo until idiots kept feeding them shit that made them sick and they put them in cages.  Sadly, the Llamas, not the stupid people. It was spring time and my Dad and I were at the zoo. The Llama mamas had just given birth to babies not too long ago and they were really cute and furry. I wanted to touch a baby one more than I wanted to live. My Dad explained that Llamas don’t have hands and if I wanted to get close, put my arms down and walk quietly and slowly toward them. I did. I crept closer and closer and closer and *TINK* I touched noses with a baby Llama. I pulled away almost crying with excitement and whispered, “DADDY, did you see that? He kissed me!!!!!!” Just a second later I feel this GIANT luggie whiz by my head near my ear. I shoot up and look and there is the Llama mama, stamping her foot and snorting at me very, very pissed off I am near her baby. I am indignant. I am pissed. I say to my Dad, “Hey, she SPIT at me!” I know spitting is rude, dammit, fucking Llama. My Dad is dying with laughter and offers, “Well, spit back!” I do and she runs off. I AM SO POWERFUL!

4. One of my favorite movies, now and when I was little, is “Same Time, Next Year” and I am so in love with Alan Alda in this movie and he is the man I hope I marry someday. I am also totally in love with the old Jerry Lewis movies and I always thought he was hot. Goofy,but hot.

5. I was once dragged, almost to my death by a pony. My regular pony, yes I went riding with my Dad (he took me to do all kinds of great things when I was little and for which I will be forever grateful), was not around or was sick or something so I rode this other dude. He had not been out of the barn for a while and my Dad let go to light a cigarette and the pony FREAKED THE FUCK OUT AND TOOOOOOOK off. My saddle was not on properly and I slipped and wound up underneath the pony as he is running for his life back to the barn. My Dad is yelling pull on the reins which I am doing and trying to right myself but he just keeps kicking me in the back and finally my shoe, which is caught becomes free and I fall to the ground. I have a huge hoof sized bloody boo-boo on my back. I sit in my grandmothers tub at the store where they live and work and my Dad puts Mercurochrome on it after I am bathed. He cries and cries and says he is so sorry. I know it is NOT his fault and I secretly plot to kill that pony. I had heard that they use horses to make dog food and I have always hoped that was his fate. I have only been on one horse since then and it wasn’t until I was 12 and I have never been on again.

So, now I tag:

Debbi

Laura

Jackie

Gina

Joe

SO, now you are all IT.