You can have some gals but what you really need are some peeps

Greasy hair, gassy bloated belly, tired-tired-tired brain and body but strangely I am happier than I was yesterday morning. Laughing until corn chowder or sangria comes out of your nose is really good for your soul. Screw that chicken soup crap. I think what you need is to cackle at inappropriate humor in front of a lot of strangers who view your outing as their own amusement. You need to freak out your waiter at least every other time he comes to the table with comments like, “I had mercy sex with my husband last night” or “Where were all of you women when I thought I could be a lesbian?” or “Your brother is our favorite and stop crying because we don’t want your mother to know.” or “You know, you just can’t say Cunt in America. If you have some sort of accent it gives it more credibility.” Just your regular idle chit-chat.

I always found it really hard to make a lot of girlfriends when I was younger. I did not go to college right out of high school and did not develop that click that many women seem able to form. On the first day of drivers-Ed I met my  high school best friend and we are still, almost 20 years later (gag, I am old) we are still great friends but we live about 360 miles apart and do not see each other in person much so we are relegated to phone calls and actual snail mail letters. I have some email and internet friends that I chat with and talk to but that is new to me and seems kind of alien and not real. It feels like having imaginary friends-great, but not exactly tangible. I made some women friends  when I first had my son through La Leche League and became very involved with them. I met some fabulous women there but many times the only thing we really had in common was the fact that we were breastfeeding. There were very few women I met that I felt like I could drink some beer with, laugh over something snarky or filthy and then fart in front of and not be too embarrassed. I am so sophisticated that my gauge of true love and friendship is the ability to fart in front of someone with out either or you feeling bad about it. Lofty heights of dedication to a person are only truly reached if you can laugh like a hyena if the fart is particularly musical or obnoxious. ANYWAY….what was I talking about? Ah-ha…women friends. When my oldest started preschool I felt like I was finally on the cusp of making some real friends. When I came to the Preschool that sank to the bottom of the sea I met the women with whom I celebrated being out to eat without children or husbands just last night. Lucky for me also there were other women that came along and we now feel like we need to this regularly. Yes, need. When you are married or partnered with someone or have children with someone or have just reached that point in your life that you can put the competive bullshit aside and be open to the friendship of other women it feels like the way it should have always been.

I feel like that school-marm from Romper Room who had that magic mirror that she used to look at the children seated before her. Using my sangria goggles I can say with sweetness that I see Alexis, Sarah, Debbi, Heidi, Megan, Donna and Laura looking back at me and it feels fine.