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Talking to animals

September 20, 2006

Life is full of subtle philosophy and ambiguous moral ground. If you thought about every single thing you did today–literally every single thing could you say with honesty that you did everything correctly? Were you polite and courteous? What about thoughtful and attentive? Did you put your needs above others at all times?

I can answer this one easily. Um, are you kidding, uh NO! I was somewhat selfish and harbored some grudge against my husband all day because of a stupid comment he made to me this morning. I was also sarcastic and too out spoken. I was short tempered and forced my kids to comply with me because it served my interests over theirs. Pretty typical day, no?

I find it very frustrating that as a parent I am required to teach certain things to the spawn. I am lazy and would prefer for them to learn by osmosis although most recent research shows that most everything actually goes through a protein channel and does not simply diffuse across a semipermeable membrane. There must be a conduit, a chain, a gradient in order for the substance to pass through. I am a concentration gradient. The knowledge I have is of a greater concentration than that of my children so naturally wouldn’t my high concentration of knowledge move from the high to the low area? Why must I actually impart knowledge upon my children?

Some things I enjoy explaining like stuff about art, history, science and cooking. I can demonstrate those things also or I can find it neatly displayed for my explaining ease in a handy book or just google it on the computer. My son wanted to learn about warblers after our trip to the Cape and bird watching so we looked some stuff up in my bird book, listened to some bird calls on the Internet and VIOLA! my spawn has some knowledge about warblers.

What I am currently in a conundrum about is how do you explain to as unyet rational being that you must not act irrationally and impulsively because that pisses people off and you get in trouble for it. Spawn says it is just an “accident” that he hit his friend in the face. He didn’t “mean” to not listen to his teacher even though she repeatedly asked him to be quiet because he just wanted to tell his friend something. I am having a hard time explaining the difference between an accident and on purpose and the responsibility of your actions even when you don’t mean to hurt someone.

Frustratingly he can recite back to me what an accident is and what on purpose it. I am having a hard time explaining responsibilty and accountablity. I can not get him to connect that he is suffering in trouble because of an action that he chose to do whether or not the end result was intentionally cruel matters little if in fact something bad was the result.

It is all spinning around and around in my head and I can’t make it stop. Why is it that other children seem so compliant and easy to manage? My children are crazy, talkative and physical in all areas of their lives. It is something I am very proud of mostly. And don’t give me all that just be creative and attentive to their needs. I AM. It is not helping. I want my child to fit in. To be less loud, less excited, less boisterous…just a little less. I know my expectations are skewed because naturally I am comparing my child to all others in his school/class. I want a perfectly creative and happy effervescent child who is dear and quiet when appropriate and listens the first time you talk to him.

But that would be an alien child and not like my son at all so for now I am contentedly resigned to talking to him like the small furless animal he is and hope that some common sense will permeate his brain by osmosis.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. September 21, 2006 6:44 am

    Living is a sin, and as sinners how can we judge the works of the lord. My typing is impeccable, surprisingly enough, and only Death can weigh our souls.

    Ya’a’tey.

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