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Where them girls at?

March 27, 2014

Half of the world and all the world comes out of our vagina’s, made inside our bodies and fed from our breasts.

Just let that sink in. That kind of power and control is, well, powerful. I can totally see why it could be intimidating to the other half of the world who makes an infinitesimal contribution in a moment of naked release and why it would seem apt to co-opt that, hold it down, make it seem less than it is and turn the table on who has the most responsibility. I don’t mean the responsibility to make it all perfect although society sure makes it seem that way.

My body, our bodies-all women, have the capability to make life. Now, don’t take this the wrong way in that I mean anything about abortion. Laws. Abortion is a totally separate issue related to a woman’s body. I am talking about a woman’s right to present her body in whatever way she feels fit to do so.

Raising a girl who loves tight pants, hair chalk, lipgloss and covets the idea of what a bra means is daunting and makes me feel nervous every single damn day. I go back and forth from wanting to curb her desires to show her body not because I think that her body is something to hide but am worried about the thoughts others will have about her body that she can’t control and what that means for her safety.

Men can dress however they want and will mostly run the risk of being called ugly, foolish, silly, unfashionable, trendy or stupid. Unless a man puts on a dress or skirt there is nothing that anyone would remark about regarding their sexuality and even then the worst thing they might call a guy is fag or gay which frankly is not an insult just an assumption of their sexual preferences which may be looked down on, disagreed with or disgusted by. A man wearing a dress, a straight dude wearing  a dress is not super common in everyday life. Contrasting a woman who could wear a short skirt, low-cut top and high heels and she could be labeled a slut, a whore, asking for crimes to be committed just because of how she is dressed. We are accused of provoking evil thoughts in others just by how we are dressed. Women are so powerful that just by revealing our body in some way we can cause someone to think committing a crime against us is okay because we are asking for it-as if we are only here to serve someone else for their sexual inclinations.

Even as I approach the age of 43 (in just a few days so make sure you wish me a happy birthday motherfuckers) I worry when I get “dressed up” that it’s too much. I worry that I am giving out the wrong idea. I worry that I might look inappropriate. I worry that I am just too much. Is my role, as a woman, to be the smoother-over, to be the cohesive bit that sticks the world together in a peaceful non-violent way? Am I not just the other half of the world, the one that holds the power over myself?

How do we struggle, as women, to make an atmosphere of acceptance and love and criticize less and love more? Am I an example? Am I not just one of many? What role is defined for me and what role do I accept as defined for me?

Where them girls at? Where are the girls of all sizes, shapes, sexual orientation, color, race, religion and thought? Aren’t we already right here, right now, together? What kind of same size, same shape, same socioeconomic sphere does an individual fit into now?


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