It’s beginning to smell a lot like the holidays
Despite my best efforts to squash my children’s cheerful outlook they continue to sing, dance, wink, giggle, squeal and yes, sometimes clap for joy. Picking up our daughter today literally it was a like a Hallmark channel promo for Holidaze-brought to you by Walmart. Every kid bust out the door grinning and most shouted “YAYnomoreschoolyayayaynomoreschool,christmas,whoooooooooooooo”.
The cat keeps getting pissed off when I shoo her off the couch and will go immediately over to the tree and bite on the low hanging bird ornaments. Everyone is cold cause our house is cold. Like Little House on the Prairie cold. My feet are always cold. ALWAYS. Its almost impossible to get out of bed and barefeet are no longer an option even in the shower. I can almost see my breath. In the house.
My allergies are nonstop with all the dust all over the white tree, mostly moldy ornaments thanks to the awesome leak in our roof and hurricane Sandy! Mold, mildew and dust-the alternate gifts from the wisemen.
There is not a cookie I don’t want to eat, even if it’s gross. All cookies. All the time. Any cookies. The attending’s keep giving us cookies. Cookies!
And I feel bitterly on the edge a lot. I am missing my mom and her crazy wacky idea of the holidays. I wish she were here to spoil my children and make them cookies and buy them too many freaking gifts. I wish she were here so I could cook dinner for her. I miss her goofy holiday naked Santa shower curtain. And the red fuzzy toilet seat cover.
I feel lucky because I have a home, a job, a car, healthy loving children, a nice man who treats me just fine most days and a body that keeps me upright and out of the ground for now.
The lights are on the tree, there are slivers of tacky paper all over the floor mixed with the dust bunnies and all my birds are in my tree.