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January 31, 2012

I am reading this super obnoxious but I can’t put it down book that was made into a shitty cheesy movie but there are some bits in it that are dinging around in my head and while I am re-reading it I can’t help but wonder why I want to read it at all.

It doesn’t matter what the book is but I like that they talk about food in a food-porn way cause I love that. I like the cultural references and stuff.

The part that keeps knocking on my brain are the parts talking about spiritual searching and change.

The author describes a friend she has made lamenting her obsession with a past love-especially unproductive considering she is somewhere trying to work on herself and busying her mind with other people is counter productive at best.

The thing that is just outside of our reach is usually the most interesting and when the author cries that she might have met her soulmate the friend tells her how great that is. How powerful it can be when (I am paraphrasing..) someone shows you your real self-your essence reflected in a mirror and show you everything that is holding you back. They antagonize us, knock us down so we have to pick ourselves up and look around to get our bearings again. It would be too painful to be with a soulmate forever, to love them forever because that type of scrutiny is a burden and too heavy to carry through out a lifetime.

As I come to the middle of my life (gawd I hope its the fucking middle. shit. now I am really depressed) I want o know what those people mean?

I thought I would know who I was by now.

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