I have been thinking a lot about sex lately. Like, I wish I was having sex to make a baby because that’s exciting and fun. Or like I wish I was more appreciative and less self conscious about my body as a younger woman because laws my bits are saggy now and so much larger. I should have just walked around naked all the time in my 20’s. I don’t know what I was thinking. Or like how I wish I had the energy to have sex like twice a day because the theory of the more you do it the better it is -is pretty true and good sex a lot would be great. Or how I wish I didn’t like sleeping so much and wish my bed were a wee bit more comfy and maybe I can sleep when I am dead because I don’t think you have sex when you are dead? Well, at least the dead person isn’t aware of it, I don’t think. That movie about necrophilia was pretty interesting though and so well done you were kinda like “oooh, okay, I get it, its fucked up but kinda hot? Hm. No. Just fucked up.”
Since its summer I think about how much of my pubic hair shows when I get out of the pool and refrain from itching my crotch because of the insipid little itchy bumps I get along the bikini line. I am half-naked often this summer so maybe that’s why I am so preoccupied by sex. Maybe its fear of death from hitting my head and being very fearful that I would get a bleed in my brain and just die. I still have a wicked bump and it happened two weeks ago.
My children’s bodies are changing and Spawn totally has a bit of white blond pubic hair-he’s ten and I only know because we were in the woods of southern VA and I had to check for ticks as he would not. Ew.
Chica’s body has changed from a baby girl to a big girl and has her hair short and sassy to match her obnoxious personality. She is very short and sassy all the time. Sometimes I wonder if her sassy is because of the haircut or it just is more apparent now that she doesn’t have all that hair around her face you can really see what a pill she is.
Now that I am 40 ( I swear I hear funeral music every fucking single time I say it, write it or think it) I am so much more appreciative of how I feel and what I want and am impatient to get it.
I want extra time just for sex so I don’t have to sacrifice eating or sleeping to get some.
Gawd I feel old.