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Hitch up your giddy

December 1, 2010

Its cold. Its damp. Its rainy. It’s a day for The Cat in the Hat. I would like Thing One and Two to come and create some mayhem and then the big cleaner upper machine the Cat has to come and put all things right again.

I want to look out of my rainy window and have suddenly something magical and chaotic blow in and turn things up right and down and right again.

Is it just that as you get older you notice the shit storm of tragedy or is this all new? Am I forced as a mother, an adult, a person with real responsibilities to something other than myself to be affected by the falling downness of lives around me, including my own at times?

A very good friend who is only 12 years older than I am, is a single mother to an amazing and beautiful 17 year old daughter, a fierce friend, smart person and all around really good human lays dying of cancer she has fought for almost 3 years.

Her sister stood with her coat on, tearful and in perpetual shock and said she just can’t understand it, this horror and the wait. The wait for her sister to die. How can you simultaneously hope for something that you feverently do not want to happen? How do you reconcile that inside your head?

You don’t. It doesn’t make any sense. Its horrible and terrible and this event will ripple out like the effects of a bomb to crush, alter, destroy and change forever so many lives that are a part of this. Lives who are a part of my friend, related by blood or by friendship and all related by the common emotion of love for her and by her.

Because this is all so senseless her sister says “there has to be something after all this”. I hope so. So, I sigh,  hitch up your giddy, and go.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 1, 2010 8:48 pm

    We had a death in our family last year. Similar but different. Are we just getting older? Are people being taken in awful sad ways more often now? I don’t know.

    I wish you, and her, lots of strength and hope.

  2. December 2, 2010 12:18 am

    I don’t know Hannah but its terrible. Its long. Its drawn out, even when death comes quickly. There is nothing speedy about grief and that is what makes it so insiducious and terribly painful. Thanks and I am sorry for your loos too. xx

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