thats me in the corner, thats me in the spotlight
Its that magical witching hour at work. Its after 5 o’clock and time is running out like sands through an hour glass, so are the days of our lives-wait, what?
But really there are last meds to give, pain pumps to sign off, blood glucose to checked and covered with insulin, encouragement to ambulate and urinate and all other types of “ate” activities and notes to write, i’s dotted, t’s crossed and all before 7pm so you can give report and roll out on time.
I see myself in the new orientee. She is red-faced, frustrated to find a place to cop a squat and document hours and hours worth of stuff done for people who you are starting to not give a crap about. Her eyes brimmed with tears were my eyes and she looks over at me and says it will be time to cry later, in the car, on the way home.
I remember that. That horrible feeling of drowning and inadequate and stupidity.
I still feel that from time to time but when I walk out I try to let it all behind me. Somedays it’s behind me more than others.