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If you give an artist and idea…

September 24, 2010

If you give an artist an idea he will want to collect random bits of wire coated  with plastic. He will look at the animals he is trying to construct out of bits of toys, metal, yarn, glass, wire, plastic and crap think how nice it would be to use that wire if it weren’t all coated in plastic tubing. He will then find his box cutter. He will use the box cutter to strip the plastic coating off the wire and he will want to do it quickly while holding it in his bare hand and being careless he will slice open his middle and wedding ring finger. If he slices open his fingers he will be bleeding and want a towel to apply pressure to his wound. Since he is bleeding a lot he will want to go to the hospital. If he goes to the hospital his wife will flaunt her clout to get him fast-tracked and seen and treated quickly. If he is seen quickly they will meet a nice NURSE named Mary who will squirt yellow liquid onto his two cuts and he will wince and hold his breath. If he holds his breath he might pass out and his wife-the nurse-keeps telling him to breath because if he passes out  and hits his head he will want a CTscan. Since his cut is washed out and his hand is prepped and readied he will want to see the DOCTOR. When he sees the doctor he will want some numbing medication injected into his wounds. If he has the numbing medication he will want the stitches. If he has the stitches he will require a dressing to keep it clean. Since the box cutter was filthy he will need a tetanus shot and antibiotics. Since the stitches have to come out in 10 days his wife will ask for a suture removal kit and cackle with glee at the thought of removing them in two Sundays from now herself perhaps with the aid of her two trusted assistants Spawn and Chica-Poo..

Lesson: DO NOT GIVE ARTISTS BOX CUTTERS

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