Holy Deodorant and Pubic Hair Batman
A quiet morning in which there is no work for me I head downstairs to find Spawn and Chica beating on one another playfully. Spawn hops up and down shrieking at his sister “You can’t get me, you can’t. HAAAHAAAA!” He smiles at me and I pat his head and bend down and kiss his neck and wish him goodmorning.
He looks at me and says, all in one breath “HeymomhowareyougoodmorningIloveyousisterisgoingnutsandmyunderarmsstink”
Huh. What? I say, “Your what stinks?” I look down at him, he lowers his eyes and then looks up and says, “My pits stink, a bit.”
I think for a moment and then, only as parent would do I command, “Lift up your arm, let me have a whiff.” I say in doubt. I smell and lo and behold, they smell. Icky. Like B.O.
Huh. I think and say, “Wow small bunny that means you are getting bigger and growing and might be starting puberty and will smell different, get taller, get hair in funky places, your voice will start to change, its kinda exciting!”
He looks at me, smirks and says “Hey, stop. Cause, you know what? I already have some hair in a pretty weird place.” He winks at me.
I stare at him for a second. I think. Huh.
I say, “Huh. Well, we should get you some deodorant. So your pits don’t stink.”
Flash forward to 3 days later, at the store getting deodorant for big boy and small sister bunny begins to WHINE and cry, SOB and snot and says, “HE ALWAYS GETS EVERYTHING FIRST AND I NEVER DO AND HE GETS THINGS I NEVER DO….(wahwahwahsniffle)”
I scoop her up and tell her, “Aw small girl, you will get stuff. You’ll get tampons and maxipads and no matter how old brother is, he will never get those.”
Chica bats her eyelashes at me, wipes a fat tear from her eyes and says, ” You promise?”