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Sporadic, at best

June 1, 2010

In the spare moments at work when I am not thinking about someones next bowel movement, blood I need from them, all matter of chemicals I am to convince them to take in all manners of administrations-as in “you want to put that suppository where?” I think about my blog. Really, I do. I wish I could have time and the ability to write at work because, as you can imagine, I think of some weird shit.

The beginnings of summer always remind me of a few things:

1. The ‘toughest’ looking thugs with gunshot wounds are the biggest pussies and have the worst manners which is very intimidating when your backside shows under the dress you are wearing.

2. People smell badly and smell worse when its hot, even in the air conditioning

3. Tragedy happens all year long, despite planned vacations, graduations and weddings and people miss a lot of their lives being sick

4. Motorcycle accident victims (the one driver kind-you know what I mean…someone just crashes their bike all by themselves into an immovable object like pavement, poles and trees) almost always test positive for drugs which, for perverse reasons sounds like karma to me that they crash

5. Scrubs are too hot to wear in the car on the way to and from work

6. It pisses me off that people are hurting themselves so much when the weather is so lovely. We survived two monster snow storms mid-east coast people-BE MORE CAREFUL so you can enjoy the good weather without wearing a cast or colostomy bag.

7. I miss the nursing students who help you do lots of stuff and ask questions that make me feel smarter than I really am.

8. I miss my kids and pine for them while at work, knowing they are becoming brown little bunnies swimming in the pool and playing with their friends.

9. While I loathe my uniform I am grateful that there is no swimsuit segment to my work challenges and would prefer to be at the pool in a parka or large quilt to cover my flabby-post-snowpocalypse body.

10. This first week of June marks one year that I have been on my own, off orientation as  an RN and I miss my preceptor everyday and often question what the hell am I doing?

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