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Equal to the task

February 5, 2010

Revenge and ruin seem to be the natural inclination when you’re scorned. I am all for that good grace of turning the other cheek, looking for the lesson to be learned and moving on to a better place but that feels unnatural-unnatural as it would be to try to breathe via my eyeballs or walk around on my hands all the time. Or like eating an orange when all you want is cake-unrewarding and you are left feeling lacking somehow. That feeling that you have totally forgotten something and are trying to remember it.

Bitter revenge is even more alluring than plain revenge. Bitter things to be said and done with the intent to injure and flatten designated wrong-doer. Its done with malice, forethought, calculation and intent. Bitter because of the shadow it can cast inside yourself despite the intended release it seeks. It can be like an after taste, one that is difficult to wash away.

Does it make you feel better to hurt someone else, try to hurt them more than they hurt you? I have a sneaking suspicion that it doesn’t work that way but that feeling of temptation to do it is as strong as a junkie wants it junk.

It’s like that last brownie after you have already eaten 6. It’s tempting, sounds and smells wonderful and feels satisfying right before you take the last two bites.

Remorse is worse than the feeling that propels you to seek revenge mostly because the deeds done to make you want to be the Godzilla to someones tiny Japanese village are never undone-no matter how great your zinger could be.

If your legs are already chopped off and you are standing on stumps bleeding-does it really make you feel better to maim someone else?

Hatred is a strange bedfellow who snores, hogs the covers, is covered in fleas and never cuts their toenails. Revenge looks good on paper but after you sign on the dotted line are you really better off?

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