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In lieu of static….

September 24, 2008

So, today in a well know chain of drugstores Spawn sidles up to me after lingering near the candy and magazines and asked me, very seriously in a hushed voice, “Hey, uh, Mama, so, do you, like, believe that aliens would shoot down an angel?” His eyes wrinkle and he hangs his jaw open awaiting my response.

To which I reply, “um, sorry dude, I don’t believe in angels.” I smile and the woman behind the counter looks at me like I just admitted to my son that I would like to drown our cat (shut up, I could just as easily OD him on his insulin…its a joke PETA).

Skeptically he looks at me and says, “Oh. yea, me too. I mean, yea, I don’t really either.”

Long fucking pause as counter-tard bustles around asking me 4 times what our name is and telling me that guy made her flustered.

I see no one around except pharmacy peeps. All righty then.

A minute or two goes by as she spells our last name aloud. Spawn says, “Well, if they were real, how could our government shoot angels down out of the sky? Thats just mean.”

I say, “Uh-huh.” and then ask, “Hey buddy, whats an angel?”

Spawn says as his big blue eyes look at me while his giant hillbilly front teeth gape at me replies, “Um. um. People in the sky? But wait, how do they get there?”

oi.

pity the fool child of a heathen.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. September 25, 2008 12:30 am

    Spawn is my kinda guy!

  2. September 25, 2008 10:18 pm

    If I’m ever in a band again, I think we’ll be called the Counter-tards.

    Religious stuff is difficult to explain. So difficult that we don’t often try. As a result, my kids must feel like devils everywhere they go.

  3. Tyson Koska permalink
    September 29, 2008 12:25 pm

    This warms my soul… er… i mean, if i had one…

  4. October 2, 2008 1:55 am

    My twin heathens started kindergarten this year… since they are #’s 5 and 6 we’ve been through this before- I e-mailed the teacher to tell her that they were coming home with lots of questions about heaven, god and general bible questions to which my stock answer is “you can believe whatever you want”.

    My kids’ kindergarten teacher’s response… “Oh, the kindergarten crusades? happens every year…”

    I love that!

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