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Wanted: Roomates

February 12, 2008
Large Victorian House, room/s available immediately.
Lovely Yard, Near a park, On Street Parking
Private bedroom and shared bathroom
Requirements: 
Must be able to wipe own ass at 4 am
Hang up your own coat
Not spill every single beverage you drink
May not talk to me and ask me questions before 9am
Must dress self and pick out own clothes
Must like vegetables
Must not start every sentence with , “And you know what?…”
Must not end each sentence with, “And you know what?…”
Must be able to vomit, if necessary, in toilet, alone and do own laundry afterward
Must not need to be cuddled after you vomit
Must have own job and money and not be a financial drain
Must not constantly complain about what you don’t have especially after I give you ice cream and let you watch TV
Must be able to turn off lights, appliances while not in use
No children and No Pets, please! 
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6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 12, 2008 1:32 am

    THATis awesome.

  2. February 12, 2008 2:16 am

    Freakin’ hilarious. And you know what? You are on the phone!

  3. gino permalink
    February 12, 2008 3:10 am

    I have to remove myself from consideration.

    I spill drinks everywhere and I’m in the midst of a career change, which means I’m a financial drain on my wife.

    Sorry…

    Very creative, by the way!

  4. fishes permalink
    February 13, 2008 1:10 am

    I repeat this to my cats and they still don’t get jobs. Just laying about all damn day!

  5. February 13, 2008 3:01 pm

    LOVE IT!!!!

  6. February 13, 2008 6:11 pm

    Let me guess…Chica? 😉

    The endless questions kill me too!

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