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Vienna waits for you even when you are 8

January 25, 2008

The music is so loud and people are shouting, laughing and passing joints around the kitchen. I know what it is but I don’t really understand it. It is strange to be so familiar with something before you can actually comprehend what it is. I know what pot is and what you do with it and what it does to you but I don’t really understand it. There is this girl in the living room playing backgammon with a friend of my mom’s and she has purple hair and I think it is the coolest ever.

My mom can’t afford a babysitter so I go with her when she goes to parties and drinks shots of tequila with pineapple instead of lime and smokes pot. Then we drive home very slowly. I try to sleep and keep my eyes closed because no matter how hard I try my mom’s friends animals always make my eyes feel like there are tiny sharp pebbles underneath that I must scratch and rub until I can get them out. They don’t come out and the hives under my eyelids just get worse and worse. She tells me not to touch my eye. Oh, okay I think. And then I forget because I am 8.

Fleetwood Mac, Linda Rhondstadt, Steely Dan, Crosby Stills Nash and Young, Jackson Browne and so many others play on their stereo and music and smoke and voices float around the house. I look through the records and pick out ones I want to listen to. I read all the liner notes and look for the studio musicians on the various sleeves to see if they work with all the stars. Many do. I love Waddy Wadschell (sp?) ‘s name and then see him one time and he has long curly kinky hair and is the most amazing guitar player. I want to be a rock star when I grow up. I want to be Linda or Stevie but I already realize I would have more of a chance if I were Jackson or Lindsay, even though he has a girls name.

I hear this song come on and I had read the words on the jacket before I heard the music and was instantly drawn to it. “Slow down you crazy child, you’re so ambitious for a juvenile, but if you’re so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid?…”. wow, I thought. I am alone in the room and all the voices and the smoke and laughter disappear into one dot I can dismiss and all I hear is Billy singing to me. “Slow down, what’s the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out, you’ve got so much to do and only so many hours in day, hey-hey. But you know its the life you lead, you’re so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need and though you can’t always see when your right, your right…”

I listen to this song over and over and over and sometimes sing it to myself at school when I feel bored or stressed. It is like a secret I can keep because maybe no one else really understands what Billy is saying, just to me. I feel like someone cracked my head open for just a split second and I can’t forget what I learned or else my life will be lost. I capture that in my soul and think that I will do many things. I will take my time. I will appreciate them. I will not just live in my hometown forever. I will get out. I will travel because the world is waiting for you to do something with it not just in it.

I haven’t been to Vienna yet but I still have time.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. gino permalink
    January 27, 2008 1:34 am

    Lindsey Buckingham rules, even if he did sell out later in his career.

    “Trouble” is still one of my favorite songs, 25 years later….

    Enjoy Vienna when you get there!

  2. January 27, 2008 6:12 pm

    Vienna waits for you…

  3. January 27, 2008 10:46 pm

    A sad and lovely ode to a 1970s childhood. Very nice.

    XOXO

  4. January 30, 2008 6:54 pm

    music feels like that when it’s just the right one for the right time
    perfect fit.
    you tell it well.

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