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The longest day of the year

December 22, 2007

The first day of winter usually feels like a promise of spring and that I am on the upward swing of daylight, warmth and sunshine.

This 22nd will only signify an ending of sorts. And also a brutal and cruel and senseless and confusing and unnecessary and bleak and terrible and black beginning. A beginning of anniversaries of remembrance for those tragically left behind and repose for those that are no longer living.

I am thinking of all the days of the year that I can remember that signify loss. My list is too long and I do not wish to share this memory. But it is mine and I will hold it although it feels hot and sharp and scary like a candle I have to carry by the flame pinched between my two fingers and held out at arms length.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 22, 2007 3:44 am

    Vivid, poetic description of the pain.

  2. December 22, 2007 1:55 pm

    please know, dear cole, that although pain feels like the loneliest place in the world, it is still one where many walk with you, each holding their own light that burns from their fingers.
    best.

  3. December 25, 2007 11:01 pm

    Coming by to say hello and that I’m thinking of you today and I feel for you – it can’t be easy but you’re a trooper and while nothing can fix what’s been broken, spring and hope will come again someday, when you are ready. It’s a mad crazy world we live in and nothing makes sense at all and sometimes that’s a terrible terrible horrible thing, and sometimes it’s a joyful miraculous thing.

    (((Hugs)))

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