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Smack back into reality

December 17, 2007

My family and I attended a party over the weekend and it was such fun. Our hostess was the mostess and the ankle biters had the best time ever. I really had fun meeting new friends and seeing some others that I don’t know very well. The kids were maniacs and just were crazy. At one point Chica yelled, in the momentary quiet of the party, a lull if you will, “You laid a stinky egg! BAWAHhahahhhahahahhahaahaha.” And then continued to do it over and over. sigh.

And then the reality of the world, my world came up short and smacked me in the back of the head.

After a while another person I have known for years walks in with her family and I am surprised to see her and say “HI!” she turns to me and says coldly, looking at me out of the side of her eye, “hi.” And I am surprised because it has been 5 years since I have seen her and so I think that maybe she doesn’t recognize me and I say, “Hey, its me, did you recognize me?” and she replies flatly not looking at me, “yes. I see its you.”

OMGosh. IF there had been alcohol at this party I fear I would have said something horrid and embarrassing to my host. Luckily for her, there was not and I did not. But had I wanted to  make an awkward situation more terrible I would have said,

“Yea, well I guess it is hard to forget the person that you told that I needed to go through labor even though our baby would die, they said it could take 2 days or more, my son couldn’t be with me and he was still a nursing 15 month old, that my placenta had abrupted and they may need to do emergency surgery to remove it and then there is always the chance that I would need an emergency hysterectomy and may loose my fertility. I know you feel passionately about it but I didn’t ask you. You were judgemental and mean AND you were on a free vacation that we provided for you in Ptown. When you called me a few weeks later the second thing you asked me was, in a cheerful voice, ‘SO, how was  your abortion?’ ”

As  if I had had manicure or gone on a little mini holiday break up to Maine. It really was one of the rudest things anyone has ever said to me. And it is none, was none of your fucking business. I didn’t ask you what I should do. You are not, despite what you think, a medical professional. You at the time, had only had about 3 experiences with mothers, including your own birth which you are bitter about. You have a completely misplaced sense of what is right and you can only think of yourself.

Despite this it had been five years and I thought it is a party, you just had your second baby and so I said HI. And you choose to act like more of a fucking bitch. So good for you! Merry fucking christmas you smug tiny little stupid person. You make other people like you look bad. Like how I feel about redneck Klu Klux Klansman make me feel about being a white in girl in the semi-south. It is embarrassing. You are kind of embarrassing. Rude. No manners. Petty and misguided above all. I am the one who lost a baby. I am the one who felt really hurt by your comments. All you were was  a free loading ingrate on vacation who wanted to tell me how to live my life and what kinds of medical choices I should make.

The more I think about it the more I should have listened to a friend at the party  and gone and slashed your tires. THAT would have made me really swing into the holiday spirit. Nothing says Ho Ho Ho like the lights on a tow truck and your seasonably red face.

I think that is what I want for christmas next year. So, you have been told.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. December 17, 2007 2:54 pm

    boy, that must have felt good. Could feel it all the way across the oceans. I usually write ’em and toss ’em away. But you know what? I just might post the next one becuz of you…

    smacky kiss on the cheek, girl!

  2. December 17, 2007 8:33 pm

    No one merries up the holidays like a rabid pro-lifer. She sounds like the type who would send out graphic abortion pictures with her Christmas cards. May I suggest an ExLax fruitcake? Or perhaps someone could stuff her stocking with a fucking clue.

  3. December 17, 2007 10:07 pm

    Jeez, what’s up with that? Yuck.

  4. December 18, 2007 4:04 am

    >>Nothing says Ho Ho Ho like the lights on a tow truck and your seasonably red face.

    Aint that the truth. Girl needs a bitch slap and a half.

  5. December 19, 2007 9:59 pm

    Give me that bitches number and I’ll take care of her.

    I’m sorry you lost your baby. I will light a candle in their memory tonight.

    Always,
    Dani

  6. December 21, 2007 10:09 pm

    Wow, just wow.

    First, eggnog in the face is always a tension-reliever. (Her face, not yours, silly).

    Second, I had an encounter similar to this with a similarly disordered person. Though I had not lost a baby, our relationship had been similarly negatively charged by her hatefulness. Even so, at a social situation that normally requires manners, I (ever the trooper) used mine with a similar result: cold shoulder.

    At times like this I like to think of (a) throwing punch/eggnog/wine/whatever is available on a person, and (b) the justice that I know exists in the universe, and the fact that what goes around, comes around.

    I’m sorry for the loss of your baby and sorry that you had to put up with a human being like this one at such a heartbreaking time in your life.

  7. December 22, 2007 3:27 am

    Nothing worse than judgmental and mean. Dehumanizes the other person. And all the worse when you are feeling vulnerable at the time. You are heroic for restraining yourself. People like that can’t hear other people anyway. They manage to “appear” perfectly civil while sending daggers into the vulnerable person, making that person feel like acting out, so they can feel even more superior. Good for you for restraining yourself from taking her obnoxious passive-aggressive bait. The bitch.

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