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I just can’t write about anything anymore

December 1, 2007

I think of things I want to say and they feel too personal. Too horrible or not really expressive of what is inside my head. I folded clothes today of children that are no longer going to wear them. They smelled like them. I found favorite things from years past saved. A christmas baby infant outfit in the oldest ones closet. Hanging next to his sports jerseys. So many things just left for the next day to be resumed. A life they expected to return to.

Truly I hope that his family, the murders family never has another moment of happiness for the rest of their lives. I hope the judges that failed my friend never get another good nights sleep. I hope they all come to the natural end of their lives and look back and realize they have never had a moments peace since this happened. I don’t wish them ill. I don’t wish them harm. I just wish them unending unhappiness and despair. No joy. No love. No anything wonderful ever again.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 2, 2007 12:35 am


    I have an idea of what happened through reading your posts and I am so sorry.

    A few years back, my best friend and her daughter were murdered by my friends abusive boyfriend here in a little town in Ohio. Whereas I don’t know what you’re going through, I know what I’ve been through. If you need an ear, I’m here.


  2. December 2, 2007 4:54 am

    Loving your family and friends well and helping others in your profession is the best revenge, really. You will come across so many women in abusive families. One question we ask everyone now in intakes. Do you feel safe where you live? Are you afraid that someone might hurt you? They are magic words to people who have never been asked.

  3. caroline permalink
    December 2, 2007 5:27 pm

    I’ve been thinking of you so much, about your friend and her children. I struggle to find words of comfort. There really aren’t any. Except just, count me in your sphere; sending love.

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