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Such a sweet girl, really

November 22, 2007

We are at the grocery store getting some last minute supplies for our holiday dinner and as I put the stuff in the car Chica says, very loudly, pointing, “HEY. THAT MAN IS REALLY SMALL. LOOK AT THAT SMALL MAN. THAT MAN IS REALLY SMALL. WHY IS THAT MAN SO SMALL…”

I hiss at her as I crouch down to look her in the eye, “quiet please. It is impolite to yell and point at people. Tell me sweetie, who is bigger, you or your brother?”

“Well, brother is bigger.” Chica says. “Alright then, who is smaller, Mama or Daddy?” She says smiling, “You are much smaller than Daddy.” I ask her, “Who is bigger Mama and Daddy or Aunt Mary and Uncle Jake?” Chica states, “Well you and Daddy are smaller than Auntie Mar and Uncle Jake!” laughing and grinning at our game.

I further explain, “It is not kind to yell and point at people and talk about how  your think they look. Sometimes that makes people feel badly and most of the time it makes them feel uncomfortable and sad because you are talking about them. You are a kind hearted girl and have been name calling a lot lately and I would like you to stop. It is rude. You may not be rude. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”  she says.

“Okay then, next time if you are wondering about someone or have something to say, you may say it to me very quietly so. And no pointing. We don’t want to make people feel badly with rude behavior.”

Chica grins and nods her head and then tells me, “Well, he didn’t hear me, so, so what?”

Sometimes I want to bash her silly. I feel this long, uphill road before me and I am already tired at 3 1/2. Is that how they wear you down? They start early so when they are teenagers you have no defense and let them run wild and free?

grrrr.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. November 22, 2007 8:18 pm

    Uhm… Yes.

  2. November 22, 2007 11:54 pm

    Yes, to answer your question.

  3. Beth permalink
    November 23, 2007 3:51 pm

    Tina DeVaron has a song called “The Girl You Might’ve Been,” which includes lines like “She throws her moods up against you, Just to see what’s gonna stick,” and “if she’s like this at the age of three, just imagine what she’s gonna grow up to be,” that spoke to me a lot when my little chica was that age. But the gyst of the song is that perhaps we wish we could have been more like out daughters are: “Cause she always knows what she’s feeling, she will spit it out instead of holding it all in, and she will never be cut off at the knees. She will set her sails straight into the wind. Is she the girl you might’ve been?”

    My sweetie drives me crazy displaying many qualities I wish I had!
    Check out Tina de Varon’s stuff at tinadevaron.com, though it may not appeal to punk sensibilities, she’s got parenting down cold…

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