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Yea, yea, yea

October 16, 2007

So I missed an A by 1.11 %.

SUCK. Seriously. I am happy I passed but very disappointed in my grade. Bummer. But this does mean, coming to a town near you perhaps…YOUR WORST nightmare nurse when you are having a baby.

Want an epidural? Here honey bite on this. Not gonna even try to breastfeed and you want your percocet? Hmmm. Sure I will get right on that. Miss your crack while you are in the hospital and can’t go outside to smoke? Shucks. I feel your pain.

BUT you are in luck if what  you really want is a home birth atmosphere at the hospital, no seperation between mother and baby and you refuse all shots at birth. And your plan to breastfeed for atleast a year, like the AAP says. Then baby, I am your gal. Need a foot rub? Dude…I am all over it. Want some good food from the cafeteria while you nurse your newborn? I will buy it out of my own pocket.

Seriously, my goal for this next clinical is to convince some idiot to name their kid after me. My name works for boys or girls so I am set. I can see it now. Years from now while Cole Jr. is going through their baby book and they come upon the “Day You Were Born Page” and they ask about Student Nurse Cole….oh the wistful tears that spring to their parents eyes as they remember how it was all because of me.

sigh.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 17, 2007 1:02 pm

    Actually baby Cole will write a novel about you and come to your nursing home with flowers and a camera crew when he/she/it gets the Pulitzer.
    No , wait: you will write a novel about baby Cole and his crackhead mom and the Pulitzer wagon will pull up at your door with the flowers and the camera crew.
    Yeah. Like the second story better. ; – )

  2. October 17, 2007 3:42 pm

    Hahaha, love it. Good one.

    I’m not having any more kids, but I’ll name my next chihuahua after you. Just because of the bit about the foot rub.

  3. October 18, 2007 1:05 pm

    Hey let me tell you…when my daughter was born the intern was the daughter of some famous football coach – Holmgren or something like that. Even though we were having a girl and knew we were having a girl my husband thought about changing her name. It could happen…

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