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So sorry, seriously

September 9, 2007

To the nice middle aged woman in a white Camry parked in the target parking lot near that private boys school, I am very sorry for holding you up from getting out of your car.

I am sorry my daughter was peeing in the parking lot versus a high speed sprint from the back of the lot to the store and without the guarantee that it would be a successful mission I opted to take a quick scout, and crouch down and let Chica-Poo pee, a little on my foot if it makes you feel any better.

Dude, I swear I took a survey around before I dropped her panties and held her over the parking lot. You must have been parked there for a while because I had unloaded my car and returned my cart and then come back and you were, obviously now, still in your car.

I can only hope that you were just finishing a call, applying some cute lipstick or combing  your hair and NOT sitting there waiting for Chica to finish peeing on my foot before you could get out of your car.

To your credit you did not say anything and if I did disgust you perhaps we can serve as a highly amusing anecdote during dinner tonight where all your family will proclaim that they can’t believe that happened at Target. From here on out this might be referred to as the Target Story when you are reminded of crass and ridiculous things you have seen in your life time.

Hopefully you are a mother and will think tonight that you are glad that your children are too old to have the opportunity to pee on your foot in a discount store parking lot. You will be grateful that it is me and not you.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 9, 2007 9:21 pm

    I am so impressed that you have mastered this task. I cannot get my girls to pee unless they are practically sitting on the floor!

  2. September 9, 2007 10:54 pm


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