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What are they doing to women in Texas?

May 30, 2007

Although actually doing it seems impossible I think every single parent has visited the edge of insanity and darkness at some point in your parenting life. Every single parent. You can stand on your Fisher-Price soap box all day long and say that any mother who murders her children is  a monster or evil but that won’t change the fact that something is broken and not the same for any parent who murders their children.

That moment in your day when you look at your child and realize that you love them and want them and are happy they are there usually arrives just at bedtime or right after they fall asleep. I think the pull to check on the them and watch them blissfully sleep is an antidote to madness because your sleeping peaceful child reaffirms that they are a gentle creature and are not trying to kill you or make you insane with lack of sleep and endless…..whatever makes you crazy. The promise of a new morning with a renewed faith in  your own parenting and a hope that with each day that passes they mature and will become reasonable adults with amazing lives.

Sometimes something inside you just breaks wide open and no amount of medication or therapy or blissful moments will change that because your neighbors are out to get you or you are commanded by god to stone your children to death or to cut off their arms or hang them inside a closet beside you or run them down and drown them one by one in a tub.

The sadness I feel for those women who I know loved their children but were in such a dark and horribly lonely place that they would take the lives of innocent children that they had originally given life to. There is a protective and important instinct to keep your children from harm. This is a working mechanism when your brain is working correctly and not working against you. I know some of the women who have killed their children have said they knew it was bad but were compelled to do it anyway–claiming the ultimate mother instinct in keeping their child from some perceived harm.

These women are crazy. Flipped their nut. Completely and utterly lost their minds and lost their grasp of reality and killed their children. To condemn these women is to not understand what it means to hate your kids. To feel lonely and desperate thinking that the only way out is to kill all of your family.

I have never stood of the edge of that cliff but I have seen it from a distance and it is an unhappy and frightening place to be. Those women are in all of us to some degree and to deny that is to pretend that you are not human. What are they doing to women in Texas? Four different women in the last 6 or so years have murdered their children.

The next time you see a mother loose it in Target or freak out on her kids in the grocery store I ask that before your cluck your tongue and give her a dirty look to go over and say hello. Just hello and tell her something funny–make a joke. Tell her what a nice shirt she has on. Say what a lovely day it is. Tell her your kids act like idiots too. Just don’t pretend that it could never be you because no one gives birth to a child thinking that someday they could kill it.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. May 31, 2007 11:24 pm

    Love that last bit, most especially. Judge not…

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