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An unholy union

May 6, 2007

Watching TV and thinking about going up to bed to read I spy something in our fish tank. I look closely and see a TINY LITTLE BABY FISH.

OMGosh.

I only have a fish and a frog. What horror could be occurring when we go to bed at night and turn off their light. I shudder to think. And as Debbi pointed out to me when I called her in a panic on the phone…the frog may take responsibility for them but everyone will know it is a lie. Pinkalious is a fucking slut. A slag. A whore. I did not create a tank of underwater pets, as Spawn calls them, as a house for unwed mothers. Our tank can only hold about 6 things and if she has the number of babies she could have, we will be horrifically over crowded. I will have to do some selective termination. And OH yes, I am that cruel. Or maybe we could offer them up on Craigs List. Who is craig, anyway?

The baby fish are called fry and I hope that is not a symbol that she will eat them for a midnight snack. I want to wake up Spawn to show him before she eats them. How gross and interesting.

This must be a curse with me or something. When I was 12 my mom got me a guinea pig, who we named PIG, for xmas one year. We went to NYC to visit for the weekend and poof! we came home and she had 2 little babies in there with her. Too bad we don’t live in Ecuador. They eat them and they are called Cuyes.

If she only has three,we shall name them Bipity, Bopity, Boo. We will love and care for them even though they are bastard fish. Pinkalious will be a single mom but we intend to support her through this. I just hope it doesn’t lead to any incest or anything. We may not be christian but I draw the line there my friends.

slutty whore fish

update: Chica awoke this morning way to early and I am hating her right off the bat this morning. We came down stairs and I told her about the new baby fish after I checked to make sure they were still there. Indeed they were there, just the three of them. She peered in. Looked at them and said in a muffled giggle, “Mama, maybe da frog is da Daddy? Cause where day come from Mama?” I am not the only one with suspicion’s about those two.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 7, 2007 12:28 am

    all about Craig here: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/12.09/craigslist.html

    How early is way too early?

  2. byzanicon permalink
    May 8, 2007 2:49 pm

    “Maybe da frog is da Daddy” … LMAO

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