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My mind is a blank bubble

May 2, 2007

Seriously, dude. It is filled with useless shit. Like arterial blood gas values, nutrional information and the ins and outs of catheritization (get it, ins and outs? yea, seriously, that is as good as it gets my friend).

I start my final lab work and will learn how to insert and remove a Foley Catheter. The dummies in our lab, THE SIM MAN, has sound effects when you do shit to them. For instance, during an upper classmans skills test on suctioning a trach tube, the dummy coughs like a mother fucker. It was creepy and alarming.

I wonder what my dummy will do when I insert the Foley…do they moan? Laugh? Scream in pain because I have not administered a heavy narcotic? During the film we watched of this procedure you could only see the female via her opening in the fenestrated drape. The man, on the other hand, was sitting up in bed, covers pulled up, full fucking frontal. You could only see the woman vagina and nothing else as though she were some kind of disembodied vulva just floating around in space just anxiously awaiting her Foley. The man was smiling pleasantly at the male nurse in the movie as the male nurse pulled up his gown, exposed the man’s penis and demonstrated the proper techinque when inserting about 12 inches of hose into a dudes penis. All while they pleasantly smiled at one another.

This seems sexist and wrong to me. Did they consider it porn if the woman showed her face? Did the guy consent and the woman did not? It was weird to me and seemed pretty unnecessary. I don’t think I am really gonna get much out of it just watching a demo on a TV screen. These kinds of things seem to me to do be best done in a hands on type of experience. This all does not wig me out. I liking doing all the procedures and stuff. I just hope they aren’t smelly. Because that is gross.

Doesn’t this all just make you want to run out and sign up for nursing school? Mmmmm. Smelly vulvas and scrotums.

All it really makes me want to do is to NEVER GET SICK AND GO IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL.

ps. my server is giving me trouble and I want to post this and it may contain more spelling errors than usual. Hopefully you will be distracted by thinking about if your vulva or scrotum smells badly. I so totally get it now when my grandmother use to tell me to remember my clean underwear in case I got hit by a car and had to go to the hospital.

and p.p.s. I totally passed my exam and I FUCKING RULE SCIENCE, MOTHERFUCKERS. Commence the woooo-hoooo-ing.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. May 2, 2007 4:28 am

    Consider the Woo Hooing begun, at least from the Midwestern contingent. You rock, chica. 🙂

  2. May 2, 2007 6:14 am

    Meh. I remember Fluids II with spawn of Satan himself, Dr. Andrew Pollard, to which I was woohooing for a 88% as an overall grade in his class. Now I look back on the course and laugh. Hopefully you will find your course just as trivial soon.


  3. May 2, 2007 11:56 am

    Full-frontal male nudity? Moanning dummies? Fluids II? Suddenly, pursuing a degree in TESOL seems more than just a little bland.

  4. May 2, 2007 5:36 pm

    nice job, passer! When are you bringing those videos home to share with your friends?

  5. May 3, 2007 1:09 pm

    Congrats!!! Your Rule Science and Catheters.

  6. May 3, 2007 1:10 pm

    Just a second thought, perhaps if I ever have another child I will name them Foley. After the glorious instrument that relieves so many of pain.

  7. May 3, 2007 4:50 pm


    So, this means I shouldn’t send the bottle of tequila??? You know, for the unwashed, snarly, and weepy. Or maybe I should, for the celebratory margarita??? Hmmmm…. 🙂 CONGRATULATIONS!

  8. May 4, 2007 1:44 am

    If you have some time, check out the story called “At Your Cervix” on The writer is a woman whose job is being a live model for OB/GYN students.

    Actually, I think I knew a girl like that in high school, but I don’t know that she was paid for it.

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