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Reasons why I am not a lesbian

September 27, 2006

This is dedicated to David , a bloggy friend.

1. When I was younger and figuring out who I was there were many girls I thought were pretty great. I was friends with a few and  few I met in clubs and stuff. I made out with a few girls but they were always like, “Wow…you are great and everything but I have a girlfriend and I can’t cheat on her do anything but kiss.” OR “This is going a little too fast, we have only known each other for like, a month. How can we sleep together?” OR “I don’t think you are really a lesbian…you just want to try it out.” All of those things sucked and I was used to guys who pretty  much were okay with anything in the sex department. Girls were too manipulative.

2. Anytime I made out with a girl …they always wanted to stop and talk about there feelings and stuff. I can talk to myself for that.

3. I don’t think I really could have done anything beyond kissing in actuallity so I am not sure what I would have done had someone been as slutty as I was.

4. Most of the girls I was able to talk into kissing me dressed like boys and wore no makeup and jewelery. I liked the idea of doubling my waredrobe with out spending more money and I did not like the way they dressed.

5. I feel in love with my husband when I was 21 and never really thought about it again. I still think girls are prettier naked but my husband smells good and is really great.

I feel in love with a person not a gender specific person. He just happened to be a dude. I still feel in my heart that we are all bi-sexual and it is either who you happen to fall in love with or who you are socialized to fall in love with. Even if you don’t think you could ever have sex with teh same sex I don’t think it is possible to rule out loving them. I don’t really think sex and love happen to have much in common. When you are in love with someone you want to rip off there clothes and do it. But also sometimes you want them to clean the bathroom and do some laundry.

Girls seemed to complicated and needy. I am the only needy broad in any relationship—-there ain’t room for two. Frankly I don’t know how you men deal with it. I am sure it has to do with the selective hearing and ability to tune out stuff you do not want to hear. Someone….I can’t remember who right now (if it was you…take credit?) said that men and women have different vocabulary needs. Women need to speak at least 10,000 words a day. Men can only hear about 2,000. I think that is pretty spot on.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. September 27, 2006 1:01 pm

    I am still not getting it. What is wrong with you? Maybe you forgot: GIRLS HAVE BOOBIES! Girls are soft, too.

    Oh, wait, you have your very own boobies. You don’t need anyone else.

    Maybe if I were a girl, I would never leave the bed. As it is, I have a hard time keeping my hands off of Mrs. Robot.

    She is always talking. Yes, I have learned to tune her out. I have also learned not to touch her boobies when she is talking about feelings. Not that I ever have any clue what she is running her mouth about.

  2. September 27, 2006 10:14 pm


    How are you? First of all I´m sorry about writing by comment, but I didn´t find your e-mail.

    I´m writing for you because I started a new project called “One at all”, and I want you to be a member.

    It´s a project where we can discust about everything: culture, music, politics, etc.
    But only one member from each country is permited. I´m still waiting for a good ammount of members to star the discussions.

    What do you think? I´m looking for suggestions too. Would be a great pleasure to have you in the project! By the way, If you can indicate people from other countries, I´d thank you a lot!
    Anyway, it´s just a project in which we believe!

    All the best,

    Diego Jock
    One at All – Project

  3. david bamford permalink
    September 27, 2006 10:50 pm

    Eh Diego…HELLO! Scottish correspondant here!

    SO! i used to love the thought of having two women.

    At least when we finish having sex they could talk to each other and not bother me!

    Erm what else… Yeah two women would be great, One to cook and one to clean!

    Hello Hello? anyone there?

    I have been single for a couple of years now, and i couldnt go back to having some needy bastard clinging on to me and looking for emotional support now. There is nothing I miss.

    (look i know i sound like a cunt, im sorry ,im sure im missing out on something in my life but im not a bad person best wishes all x)

  4. david bamford permalink
    September 27, 2006 10:56 pm

    ps thanks for the dedication!

  5. September 28, 2006 12:57 am

    I vote for more lesbian stories, please.

  6. September 28, 2006 12:57 am

    You can even make some up if you like.

  7. September 28, 2006 8:55 pm

    I’ll second that, birds in the scud are much easier on the eye

  8. September 29, 2006 7:58 pm


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