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Drive 7 hours to spend 2

September 18, 2006

On a whim today I thought we might drive to the shore. The shore happens to be about 3 hours away and we left at 10am and were home by 7:15. You can do the math. The spawn rolled in the sand and my son was attacked by the ocean with all of his clothes on. Watching them run screaming from the sea as it swelled and crashed made me so very sorry we are not on Cape Cod this summer. My children are fish. Seriously. I am certain that my son has gills and my daughter always says she is a mermaid with Barbie Hair. The only bright thing I did all day was remember to bring an extra pair of clothes. No towels or blanket and no suits or change of clothes for us and there was the most wicked undertow I have ever seen and thankfully I did not have to go into the water to rescue them. We did eat fabulous friend chicken and crab cakes on the way home.

Had we not spent 7 hours in the car today driving around in the sunshine I would not have had a math lesson with my son. It went something like, “Mama, what is 11 + Daytime +70 + nighttime?” We say gently (well, smirking) “Sweetie that is very interesting but Daytime is not a number but that is very creative.” Spawn says smartly, “Oh yes it is because the answer is eleventy night!”

Then Mermaid with Barbie hair awoke from a nap and blessed respite from having to listen to “Jet Set” by Joe Jackson and “Josie and the Pussycats” by Tanya Donnely and Julianna Hatfield eleventy times in a row. She sang me a song entitled, “Ooooohhhhh Mama , Do you love me , now, still, even when I sing Booby Dooby Dooooooooo?” To which D replies, “Her crazy pills are really kickin in.”

Alternatively on the way there bickering and tattling was the bill of fare. “Mama, brother is looking out my window and he is spitting with his tongue like this (demonstrates blowing spit bubbles and ALMOST letting it drip out of her mouth but then sucking it back up). Son laughs maniacally which makes sister forget why she was telling on him until she catches him looking out of her window again and she shrieks for him to stop. Brother replies, “All the good cows are out of your window. It is not fair. All I have to look at are pumpkins and tractors.” She yells, “I want pumpkins!”

D turns up the newly burned CD to Sliver by Nirvanna…

Mom and dad went to a show
They dropped me off at Grandpa Joe’s
I kicked and screamed, said please, dont go

Granma Take Me Home
Had to eat my dinner there
Mashed potatos and stuff like that
I couldn’t chew my meat too good

Granma Take Me Home

She Said, why don’t you stop your crying
Go outside and ride your bike
Thats what I did, I killed my toes

Granma Take Me Home
After dinner i had ice cream
I fell asleep and watched TV
I woke up in my mothers arms

Granma Take Me Home
Wanna be alone

Spawn sing the chorus loudly “Granma take me home….”

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