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Hey Mister, can you spare a dime?

September 15, 2006

Fall is here. Leaves have that tinge of red around their edges, the night air is cooler and cooler, yellow buses filled with loud children rumble down the road and schools have put out their, “Will educate  your child if your friends and family cough up large sums of money to buy crap no one needs”. It makes me want to put a sharpened yellow #2 pencil in my eye.

Couldn’t I just give them $50 bucks and call it even? I have two children in school and already I have 2 fundraisers I am being asked to participate in. I could just ignore them and not do it. While president of the school that sank to the bottom of the sea I was required to not only participate but organize and enforce participation. That sucked. People hate it and no one wants to do it. Making this all the more painful is the fact that in order to make my sons fundraiser a success they gathered them in  the basement of a church and gave them a pitch any Amway salesperson would have been proud of. My son came bursting through the door after his indoctrination bubbling with the excitement that if we sold a lot of stuff they could get PRIZES. As my friend Debbi said earlier today, we should just take $50 and let the kids spend $3 in the dollar store then give the rest to the school.

I see what is wrong with education. Administrators have turned into pimps, our children into useless merchandise sluts hawking low quality candles and bric-a-brac that people will only buy in a dollar store because it is tacky and stupid. It is a sad state of affairs when schools must depend on weak minded and guilted grandparents and relatives in order to sustain a school.

I vote for stuff that makes money that people want. Like gambling, illegal drugs and naked women.

16 Comments leave one →
  1. September 15, 2006 5:40 am

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  2. September 15, 2006 4:41 pm

    I too have large beefs with the schools here in Canada. Not so much in the sense of inappropriate spending, but rather to program cuts due to budget cuts and the lot. Music programs reduced. Art. Drama. Cutting school plays. And lowered academic standards for students. Kids graduating high school these days aren’t getting the depth or breadth of education I felt I recieved 15 years back. I guess it’s up to us as parents now to take some resposibility to pass the artistic and academic torches down.

  3. david bamford permalink
    September 16, 2006 12:40 am

    I rage at this story! its the same the world over. Fucking idiots stifling the truly creative people that no whats right, and force the life out them till its copying some corperate shit business template.

    And what can we do? nothing. But if we give up being angry then t will get worse for us all.

    Phew! no my hearts beating fast and its twenty to two in the morning here….

  4. September 16, 2006 2:54 am

    One solution: Homeschool.

  5. September 16, 2006 5:15 pm

    I whole heartedly agree with you mommasteph. I fully intend to teach my future son (okay so that’s hoping) as much as I can at home to compliment whatever it is he’ll get at school. I always believed that a good part of this purpose really is to pass on what you have learned, to keep the legacy alive so to speak.

  6. September 18, 2006 1:58 am

    Thanks to the school that sank to the bottom of the sea, I still have a freezer full of Joe Corbi shit.. Anybody up for a vat of cookie dough?

    When I was a kid, my elementary school made us sell these stupid spice assortments. And I can remember my mother getting super-pissed, saying, more or less, what you just said–that it was appalling to make children hawk anything, much less pepper in a cutesy jar. I think that prescription drugs are the answer. Just think of the money our schools could make!

    PS Given your seeming fundraising enthusiasm, I always suspected that you had the hots for Joe Corbi.

  7. September 20, 2006 12:05 am

    I particularly like the naked women.

    Actually, I hate it when my kids bring that shit home. I refuse to purchase anything, and while not actively discouraging them from selling, I am pretty clear on my feelings. The schools make such a tiny profit of of this garbage that you could give them $5-10 per kid and they would still get more than they do from the companies hawking this crap.

  8. September 20, 2006 11:14 am

    I agree that these fundraisers are a ridiculous waste of time, effort, and money. It would definitely be much quicker and less painful to donate funds directly. I wish more schools would adopt that approach.

  9. September 20, 2006 11:39 pm

    I’m with you. I’m sick to death of craptastic Christmas wrapping paper and buckets of cookie dough. What’s worse is the sad puppy looks on my spawnlings’ faces when they realize they’re not going to get that $2.00 POS talking flashlight or the ultra-cool personal door security alarm (that will never work) because they didn’t sell $100 worth of dollar store rejects. Even the grandparents are flinching when they see the tell-tale catalog these days. I’d much rather just hand over the money.

  10. cooper collier permalink
    September 26, 2006 4:17 am

    If you read this please email me,

    I found this blog post and the comments, when searching the internet for any information and hopefully and organization thats against school fundraising sales.

    I am not an unreasonable person. If the newspaper club or the rock climbing club etc wants to fund raise for something, and do a car wash or some other useful service, I am all for it.

    But sending out children to sell things is not only immoral , its illegal in most states. the school gets around that by saying, OH by the way, dont go door to door to sell this stuff.
    HOW the hell else would they do it!

    anyway, I was all for simply not allowing my child to participate and explain why.
    then this evening she asked me again why she cannot sell.
    She then said she understood that the prizes were not all that good. and that she is not being paid and that its technically illegal.
    But she did not really want to be the reason that her class does not get the ice cream or cookie party again this year.


    she explained that if the class has 100% of the kids at least sell one thing they get a party. she and one other child were the cause of losing the party last year.

    To say I am angry is beyond explaining. I am in a total rage. I shall be visiting the priciple tommorrow, then I expect I will be taking up a grass roots champaing against this!!! I am very very angy!

    It woudl be awesome if anyone knows of any sources of help, information etc. an attorney willing to work for free, to protect children would be truely amazing!

    email me please,

    ps. I do understand that schools need money, truely I do. But using children to gain the money simply is not the way to do it!

  11. November 28, 2006 1:23 am

    The school here sold “junk.” If a kid didn’t sell any of the “junk,” then he or she did not get to go to the magic show. All sellers got to go. All failures got to sit in the class like suspension.

    I would also note that this little deal was set up AFTER they sent a note about a basic buy out. Pay x number of dollars per kid – no fundraisers.

    Dumb me. I paid my buy out. Perhaps I was the only one who did. When that didn’t work out, they sent the same old sales junk around. I ponied up and then got to buy worthless junk to boot. I think I still have the ugly wrapping paper. Maybe I can use it to start fires in the fireplace or something.

  12. Keith permalink
    January 9, 2007 5:25 am

    Bottom line, around here the schools don’t NEED money, they just want it. I feel terrible for the poor kids that get suckered into this, after all I did when I was that age… I don’t have aclue what these “administrators” do with the millions they get off of the levys and such that seem to always pass near election time. The sad part is with all the $ floating round here, the kids [under no fault but the school and the parents] the kids just dont seem to be getting ANY smarter! They are still lazy and unmotivated to do anything. Trust me I don’t blame the child. I would love to go back to school just to see if they actually do anything anymore, or see if they use the same fucacta textbooks I had 14 years ago…

    Nuff said

  13. will smith permalink
    March 1, 2007 6:21 pm

    I would tell them I would be back and bring a newspaper and tell them to start looking for a job.

  14. Pat permalink
    April 18, 2008 3:51 pm

    You people that sit in your cosey little spaces have no clue what’s really going on in this country today. So enjoy yourselves. I would hope and pray that you are never in a position that some of us find ourselves in. The best you can do is run you nasty mouth, as a opinion and sollution. I hope you are someday given the oportunity to walk a mile in some of these people’s shoes. So much for a “United”
    States!!! I’m sick of this country, and ashamed of what it’s become.


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