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What makes up your life

August 28, 2006

Inspired by Debbi and My Golden Friend I have been thinking all night about my list of stuff. You know, that list of stuff that makes you who you are. Like my favorite color has always been green. I can not resist cake with frosting, Gorgonzola cheese, good pizza, champagne, blackberries (the fruit, curse you technology), homemade french fries, creme brulee and green beans almondine. I love to dye my hair and am addicted to make up although my current schedule set forth by my spawn stunts my daily worshiping of myself. I am afraid of heights–sort of and have a deep fear of ICE sticking to me. I broke my pinkies when I was little but no one believed me and I was also dragged by a spooked pony when I was 4 and was almost killed. Those of you who know me well are sighing…saying things like , “oh, that explains so much.” I love to tell jokes and remember a million. I am a fabulous cook, if I do say so myself. I am a terrible house keeper and cleaner and wish I was more dedicated cause  clean house sure makes me feel better. I prefer weddings to funerals and will never attend a baptism. I am extremely loyal as long as you don’t piss me off toooooo much. I love forever and the hate will pass. I have a wicked temper and it is the thing I am most ashamed of. Aside from my ass and flabby baby birthing stomach. I despise religion of all kinds although it bugs me that atheist don’t really have holidays so I am a hypocrite for xmas. Although I have my nose pierced I would never do it now. It seemed cool when I was 18–a million years ago. I adore my husband and think he smells great even when he stinks. My children are the most kissable, laughable, incredible people I have known and POOF! I created them out of thin air, some sperm and an egg AFTER having sex. That whole process is a complete mystery to me evolutionary speaking.

At the base of it all are those things I can’t really name. Reasons for being a certain way or not that can’t be quite explained. Mostly I think of books that changed my life and how I perceived the world. I can not imagine my life without books. I read every night before I go to bed. Currently I am reading JR Moehringer’s THE TENDER BAR. I don’t know yet if it will change my life but I do know that I love Uncle Charlie and his way of pardoning himself when he uses a big word, say like, um, penultimate…”do you mind if I say penultimate?”. I love this writers words and the world he lets me live in. Books make me feel a part of something that is larger than my self and for an atheist that is an unusual occurrence.

The first book I believe rocked my world was “Ramona and her Sister” by Beverly Cleary. I have an autographed copy of that from my maternal aunt. My paternal Aunt Maryann gave me a book of children’s poems that was much too old for me to read at 7 but I loved it and still have it today. It made me feel so grown up holding its brown leather hard cover and looking at the engraving illustrations over and over imagining that the fairies holding the gates of poetry open for just me and only me. I adored and read everything by Judy Blume including her adult novels. I particularly loved “Are you there god, its me, Margaret?” and checked that out of the library about a zillion times. I loved S.E. Hinton books and “The Outsiders” & “That was then, this is now” made me wish I was a boy. Girls don’t have friendships like that usually. I have made some now as an adult but boys it seemed to me were different.

I learned about sex from “Endless Love”, “Forever” and “Catcher in the Rye”. I loved Stephen King and even wrote him a fan letter in while in high school. Kings short stories were so great and I think I have read “Different Seasons” a thousand times. “The Breathing Method” was one of the most amazing stories I have ever read and I recalled that story when I had my two children. I also adored “Skeleton Crew” a great deal. The story “The Mist” scared the crap out of me and made me afraid of fog forever.

There are a few books that I carried around with me and would re-read over and over again. Maybe 2-4 times a year. I moved around a lot and traveled but these “friends” were always around and I felt at home when I read them. This list is short and has faded over time as I have not re-read some in a while but they are always in the back of my mind.

“The Stand”, “The Lords of Discipline” Pat Conroy, “Smart Women” Judy Blume, “Macbeth” the play, “You’ll Never Eat Lunch in this Town Again” Julia Phillips, all my ee cumming poetry, “Illisions” by Richard Bach, “Alice in Wonderland”, “Wasted” Marya Hornbacher, All Jonthan Kozel books, “Dorthy Parker: What fresh hell is this?” Marion Meade, all the “Little House on the Prairie” books, “Charlottes Web”, Diary of Anne Frank, “Where the Wild Things Are” Maurice Sendak, “Breakfast of Champions” Kurt Vonegaut, “To Kill a Mockingbird” Harper Lee, all Dr. Suess, “Olga Da Polga” Michael Bond and more but my collection of books is still packed and we don’t have book shelves yet.

Reading has made me a bit of who I am. My mother loved books also and we spent a few hours once a week returning the maximum amount allowed to be taken at one time and gathering just as many the next week. My son is very close to reading and I can’t for the first time that he reads a book all by himself that changes his life.

*****************this is dedicated to Keith***************

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 28, 2006 7:43 am

    I don’t think celebrating X-mas is terribly hippocritical. Myself being agnostic (I more am unconcerned about the existence of a God rather than flat out convinced there is none), I have come to a couple of truths about the holiday.

    First, the whole of North America comes to a standstill on December 25. Being there’s nothing else to do, you might as well enjoy some time with those you love anyway, just like the Christians out there. Or you can go to the cinema with your Jewish friends.

    Second, I do take some glee in that the holiday is celebrated much more as a pagan festival rather than a religious celebration of the birth of their lord. Thinking about that irony makes things a lot of fun, and takes the edge off. Well, that and beer.

    For books, Charlotte’s Web was one of the first I ever read. It’s weird though, a healthy portion of your list I read in high school (mixed in with all the Canadian fare, like Margaret Atwood), and hated the lot in school. Reflecting back now, I actually want to re-read all but the Atwood.

  2. August 28, 2006 4:08 pm

    I got a blog post dedication? Like a book dedication only more fleeting? That’s just awesome. I’m now inspired to write about my favorite book that I’ve read out of the three.

  3. August 28, 2006 11:10 pm

    ADDING “The Handmaids Tale” Maragret Atwood, thanks Jeff.

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