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First day of school count down (aka: Get the hell outta my house)

August 22, 2006

My son’s first day of kindergarten is next week and I am totally excited. I am not, as normal mothers are, overly anxious about his leaving the nest and such. My son has never really cared that I was around unless he has peed his bed or needs me to reach something for him. I don’t count the times he hassles me to play with him or read him a story because that just means he is either A. tired of playing with Sister B. he is not allowed to watch TV C. he is not hungry D. no one his age is around to play with him and we all hate the cat.

They say that extended nursing will make your child overly dependent. I have never seen that be the case. I have, occasionally seen a child who is very clingy and can only imagine how much WORSE it would be if they did not have mom as a home base to check in with or be stuck to. As soon as his sneakers hit the ground in any playground, playgroup or beach he is OFF. I have encouraged this when he was little because I am lazy and do not want to be his constant playmate. When somewhere without a friend in tow, I say something like, “hey buddy, that girl/boy looks your age, just go over and say your name and you wanna play?” He was nervous at first and would require me to go with him to do it –he saw that it worked most everytime. Most kids wanna play and most moms are happy they do not have to play dump trucks or continue to comb some dumb dolls hair. Children like each other more than adults I find and that is just fine by me. I am not exactly sure why I had children but I know for certain it was not to create a permanent playmate.

My son gets some heavy loving from his mama, no worries. I mean, he nursed until he was 4 1/2 and still gets to sleep with us when monsters are too scary or we run out of sheets for his bed when he pees on them. I am not totally a hag. As testament, when he was small, around a year and half or so, he would see some kid crying at our local playground, take their hand and say very sternly and earnestly, “come on, where you mama?” Because crying child= mama arms and kisses.

Speaking of kisses, one of my greatest fears is that he will kiss everyone in his class before the first month is over. He is very affectionate and gets pretty pouty when he wants a hug and doesn’t get it. If he accidentally is being a complete and utter tool and bonks someone or bumps them too hard a stern look from a grown up will produce a kiss and a “uh, sorry! I love you.” to either boy or girl–man or woman. He has hugged and kissed total strangers for no apparent reason from time to time. He is  a lover, not a fighter. A whiner, not a fighter.

I am excited about what real school will bring and what he will learn. I hope he settles down and stops falling over, crashing into things and jumping on his head when he is bored or excited. He channels Charlie Chaplin, Jerry Lewis and Crusty the Clown (insert various cuss words used only in context of course).

In all his geekdom, wearing his charter school uniform complete with belt and non-sneaker shoes he will carry his Hotwheels lunch bag and step away from his babyhood. This time, I don’t want a time machine; I am feelin pretty psyched…..its the end of the world as we know it, its the end of the world as we know and I feel fine…….(hum the rest).

3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 22, 2006 2:46 am

    Hilarious (and sweet). I used to get in trouble in 1st and 2nd grade for instigating games of Girls Catch the Boys, Girls Kiss the Boys; or, if I was really in my power for the day, Girls Catch the Boys, BOYS Kiss the Girls. Why would I get in trouble, might you ask?

    Because we were all giving each other colds. Of course. Little disease spreaders, we were.

    But it was FUN.

    The Inadvertent Gardener

  2. August 22, 2006 5:44 pm

    Wha? I can’t believe other mothers don’t ADORE playing “you be the mommy dinosaur” fifteen times in one hour.

  3. laura permalink
    August 22, 2006 6:50 pm

    Just wait until he unleashes the f-word on his sweet, innocent kindergarten class.

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