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Why are some parents assholes? :Basics to children are not complex

August 6, 2006

Situation: It is Saturday night. You have 4 small children including one infant and you would like to go see a pretty scary movie but you may not have that much money. Your choices are:

a. Ask a family member to sit with the big kids and return the favor somehow

b. Get a neighbor or friend to stay with the kids and barter a night out for them that you will watch their wee ones

c. Rent a movie cause you can save money and hang with the family. Make pop corn and get some candy to make it feel more like the movies

d. Bring just your infant because they will probably sleep and leave the kids with a friend or relative or sitter

e. Fuck the above and bring all of your kids (4 under 5yrs) to see Pirates of the Caribbean (scary, for me and I am 35…at one point I jumped so much that I threw water all over myself and my purse) and keep getting up to take smallest toddler to the potty leaving the 3 and 5 year old alone in their seats (well, the dad? was there but not attending to them in ANY way). Heard on the way out of the theater….”gosh, dad , that was scary….” dad says, “yeah?”

I noticed this about half way through the movie and could not enjoy it after that. Those poor kids. My daughter is scared of the Land Before Time series and some episodes of Mrs. Spiders Sunnypatch on Noggin. My son and daughter and I went to see THE WILD and had to leave because it was toooooo scary and that was just a cartoon.

What is wrong with people? I know it is hard to be at home, feel trapped inside the parenting world? But for goshs’ sake, don’t expose your kids to that? I can’t imagine how scared those little ones were. If you have not seen the movie –the special effects are amazing and it is all about dead pirates covered in barnacles, octopus for a head, slimy, yucky sea things AND a GIANT squid with a million teeth that eats people…for real eats them. PLUS, these cannibals that capture Jack Sparrow and want to eat him and they are dressed to the NINES in cannibal attire and scary makeup.

Not only was the movie scary, but it wasn’t over until 11pm. Those kids need to be in bed.  If I didn’t feel like I already have too many children, I would have stolen them.

So, the basics to child-rearing, rule #3: Children need to sleep so put them to bed at a reasonable time

Rule #6: Do not expose children to extreme violence, sexual content or extreme fantasy until they are old enough to understand what it is they are seeing. (amendment to rule 6: children need never see violence on TV or movies)

And to think we are the “highly evolved” speices on this planet. yea, uh-huh. Sure we are.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. August 6, 2006 2:27 pm

    You know, I went to see The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe this past winter, and someone had brought their four- or five-year-old daughter, and, essentially, the same thing happened. I could hear the kid asking all these questions all the way through the movie — “Why is their mommy leaving them? What is wrong with the lion? Why are they crying? Why is that witch so mean?” etc. etc. etc. — at a higher and higher level of agitation every time she asked anything. It was so troubling…she was clearly not ready for the movie, which, while beautifully made and based off a traditionally “children’s” book, contained some pretty disturbing moments.

    Even worse, the parents were not answering her questions, just shushing her the whole time. Of course, this just made her more uncomfortable and scared and agitated.

    Sometimes, I think people ought to be issued a license to parent.

  2. ginapea permalink
    August 6, 2006 3:51 pm

    Oh, I can top all that…When I saw Silence of the Lambs, the people next to me had a child about age 3 or 4. Could not believe it. That was before I had kids, now I would likely say something.
    My friend’s husband took their 5 yo to see Narnia, which she & I thought was too much, but her daughter did fine and loved it…I guess sometimes it depends on the kid.

  3. August 7, 2006 1:59 am

    I can top top that – one time I took all my kids to a double header of Saw II and then Hostel at the drive in. At the time they were 8, 6, 4 and 2. Boy oh boy, they didn’t sleep well for weeks after that, but the looks on their faces during some of the scenes – just priceless little visages of horror and sheer terror. I still laugh. I thought the movies were Over the Hedge and Shrek II, but I was mistaken. The good news is I only had to pay for myself – I smuggled the kids in the trunk of the car.

  4. laura permalink
    August 7, 2006 6:13 am

    You know what’s funny? Right now, I’m dressed to the nines in cannibal attire.

  5. Tonya permalink
    August 10, 2006 10:13 pm

    When I went to see Twister there was a lady and her small daughter, around 5-yo. Before the movie the mom leaned over to the little girl and said, “Don’t worry honey, this is just a movie, it can’t really happen.” That might not sound like such a big deal but I live in tornado alley and it most definitely can happen so not only did a 5-yo see a somewhat realistic adult movie but now she thinks that it can’t really happen in real life!

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