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I used to be cool…really, I was

July 23, 2006

And then I had kids. I think I was still able to eek out a bit of coolness while I was married, but now, it is all gone. Last night while on a date with my sweetie…we were talking with the bartender while we ate our cheese and olives and got to discussing music. He is from Mass. and went to an art school here. We live here now and but my husband went to art school at Mass Art. He mentioned that he was from near Worcester and I said, we saw great concert in Worcester, Helmut opened for Faith No More (answer to the music trivia from many posts ago..DO you often sing or whistle just for fun…it was ripped off the scientology questionaire/personality test). He,the bartender, says, Yeah, I love Mr. Bungle and Phantomos. I say, yeah, but Faith No More was the best band and Angle Dust the most amazing album and he SAYS…”Yea, you would be about the age where you would say that.” I do reply , “you seem nice so I won’t let that effect your tip” He is 22 and just out of art school. He has his whole life before him and is JUST getting to the good parts.

I don’t think I savored every part. Did I suck the marrow out of life like Kerouac says? (didn’t he say that?) Or was I too drunk/high and shopping for fabulous clothing to pay any attention? I admit, we did cool stuff. Lots of cool stuff. We drove across country for 3 1/2 months (every thing we owned got stolen though and that really BIT), went to Culebra near Puerta Rico, went to Europe for 3 weeks and to Hawaii for our 3 week honeymoon. Amongst other various smaller trips. We saved money and bought 3 houses. We worked and met people. We danced and stayed up all night. We went swimming in the pitch blackness of the Cape Cod night at the fresh water ponds. We ate great food and shared it with friends.

I don’t know why I feel so cheated lately. I know and am assured by my husband that everyone probably feels this way at some point. It is like my life has reached some sort of critical mass or entrophy and that it is just like sand running back into a hole I have spent my lifetime digging.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 23, 2006 9:39 pm

    Hey, your blog is cool! Wondering if I can add you to my blogroll?

  2. July 24, 2006 5:05 pm

    Yes, I guess everyone feels cheated at some point. But let me echo a question you asked me on a different topic – what would you do differently if you went back? It sounds like you made more of your oats sowing time than most people I know. Now you have your two beautiful kids, your sweetie – you’re sucking the marrow right now.

    I feel like every decade has gotten better and better, primarily because I’ve gotten smarter. I had fun in my 20s, but I was dumb as dirt. I’m glad to be past all that…

  3. Cara permalink
    July 27, 2006 2:36 am

    Beg to differ.

    I think that you’re still cool. Your blogs are cool! Truly. And Im not just saying that to make you feel better.

    I do agree with your husband. Everyone must go through “this phase”. Speaking from experience here. I can tell you now that when it’s all over, it will be awesome.

    Just imagine that you are in a cocoon right now. It’s dark and you don’t know what is happening. But rest assured, that when you do come out {I chose the word WHEN not IF coz i know that it’s gonna happen!} you’d be a very pretty buttefly.

    Catterpillar -> Butterfly. Id rather go through the “cocoon stage” and be a “beauty” eventually. It’s hard, I know, but it passes.

    Good Luck.

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