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Part Deux, the man who swears

July 8, 2006

My anatomy and phys. teacher swears all time in class. I am quoting, not swearing myself here. “So, Christ, I know , this seems like one hell of a process.” or “This damn marker isn’t working. Shit. Does anyone have a white board marker…I was a on a damn roll. Oh hell.” He is probably late 50’s, snaggle toothed, heavy local accent, wears a polo type shirt and gray or black poly pants with a cheap black belt every day. He is really smart and totally knows his stuff. Today during our extra study session for our Practical on Monday, he was wearing a pirate skull shirt. He is so totally cool. I have a secret sick kind of crush on him. Not a sexual type thing but more like I want to see where he lives and if he has friends. So, more like I want to stalk him, than a crush really.

ANYWAY…what was I going to say?

Yes…my lab practical. I take umbrage to this title to my exam. There is nothing practical about this other than you just learn the parts and remember to name them. ALL OF THEM. Every bone in the body, the layers of skin, the spinal column and its contents within and the details of an individual axon (many of them make up a nerve). Luckily today my lab partner for the day, a nice boy named Corey and I sat together. He is funny and very sweet. I mostly love him cause when he said incredulously  that “How OLD are your kids?” I told him 5 and 2 1/2. He said, “God…when did you have them? I mean , how can you be old enough?” I say, “Oh, I am old. That is how.” Behind me another nice girl in class warns me, “Be careful what you call old!” I say, “Well, how old are you?” She tells me 34. “I say, I am 35, and that is old” Corey tells me, unfortunately, “Wow! My mom is 37. You could almost be my mom!” I tell him , “Sweetie darling, I could be your mom. TV movie of the week mom, but none the less, your mom.” Corey just says, “Wow. I thought you were like 24 or something.”

This is the second time this has happened to me. I am not comforted by this. Not at all. First, I am not 24 and I don’t look like it to me. I look old, splotchy and fat. It is one thing to have the appearance of an age and than it is to be an age. You want that when you are 19 and trying to get served at a bar (or work in one as a bartender in my case). But when you are 35, do you really want to appear 24? Am I immature? Do I dress like a teeny-bopper? (yes, that phrase does date me…SEE? SEE?). My dear friend once called me a MILF. That sounds better to me. Although she is crazy and on crack , I took it as the highest of compliments. So, thanks G!

See, the older you get, the longer you are around…you still feel the same. You are still the same dork/prom queen/brain/jock/stoner/loser/loner/cheerleader/whatever…that you labled yourself as a teenager. It doesn’t change. I still feel inside like I could be 24, but I know I am not. I WISH I knew then what I know now. I wish I used more skin cream. I wish I hadn’t eaten so many hot fudge sundaes when I was pregnant with my girl. I wish I had gone right to college. I wish I had met my DH when I was in high school. I wish I hadn’t done some of the drugs I did. I wish I had …..

What do you wish for?

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 8, 2006 12:43 pm

    Easy: I wish I hadn’t eaten all that Cap’n Crunch as a kid (cavities), I wish I hadn’t seen Grease all those times (stupid), I wish I hadn’t worn those 80s fashions that make family photo albums painful (parachute pants), I wish I hadn’t made my senior term paper 1/4 of a page over the limit and therefore lost points and not gotten the English award at graduation (went to best friend, still resentful), I wish I hadn’t asked Parvin to the prom (asshole), I wish I had studied more in college (took guts), I wish I had never taken up smoking (though I’m 9 years smoke-free, hooray!), I wish I’d found a career path sooner (before 35), I wish I’d never talked to that guy, the one I wish harm upon from time to time (bastard), I wish I were a little hotter, for my DH’s sake (varicose veins from pregnancy), I wish I had let my hair grow out instead of getting this mom cut (tends to poof), I wish I were more patient (ugh, take a nap)…Oh I could go on… Good luck with your exam.

  2. Gina permalink
    July 9, 2006 4:36 pm

    I wish I hadn’t gotten married the first time….I wish my DH would get up by 10 on the weekends…I wish I had a pool in my (larger) backyard…I wish I had the energy/discipline/time to work out…I wish there was a way I could be at home with Sam and my cool mama friends and still be at my job that I love…I wish I had gotten one grade level higher on one grade in college so I got cum laude (I had a 3.49 GPA—1/100th of a point away! ARGH!)

  3. July 11, 2006 5:29 pm

    I have a wishing entry on my blog too!

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