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Marriage, Love and Sex

June 12, 2006

It seems to me lately (after 14 years–I am a slow learner apparently) that marriage, love and sex are 3 completely different entities. First, you have sex with someone and you sometimes think you love them. Sometimes you just want to have sex with someone and just like them a lot. If you love someone, sometimes you don't want to have sex with them for a variety of reasons (like they are already married/with someone else, you have your period, you don't want to get pregnant, you are too tired, you are up with a sick child for 3 nights in a row….ect) but sometimes you can just make up a reason and it doesn't have to be a real one. So, that sounds a lot like what marriage is. Marriage is when you are with someone for a variety of reasons and you are fortunate enough to be able to commit to them legally as well as spiritually if you are so inclined. For an explanation that is truly beyond my mind, our government prohibits certain groups of people from marrying each other. If you are amongst this grouping you know who you are. Gays, polygamist's, first cousins….Now, not to lump homosexual people into groups of people that actually choose what kind of person they love because homosexuality is just the way it is. Like oxygen. Some people are gay. Some people are not. It is like getting blue or brown or green eyes. It is not a choice ,but one of the many things some humans are born to express. BUT, they are a group of adults that are discriminated against because of who they would like to be legally bound.

I am all in favor of anyone who wants to marry each other. If you are an adult, of sound mind (in the legal sense) and are willing to do so–by gosh let them. Other people want to enslave themselves to another adult and bind themselves even further by creating a family together—misery LOVES company! I think the insurance lobby is tooooooooo strong in this country and it would cost big business TONS and TONS of money to be legally bound to offer insurance to gay families, so truly I think it is $$$ issue versus a political or religious one.

I hate, hate, hate, HATE those bumper stickers that say, MARRIAGE=MAN+WOMAN and think they are completely assinine! I think that if you say you feel gay marriage somehow demeans your own marriage that is like saying that all men/women who abuse their spouses make your marriage corrupt and abusive as well. Just because someone, one person or many do something, it doesn't have anything to do with yours. It is a pretty egotistical point of view to feel that something that a stranger does has that big of an impact on your partnership with your spouse to degrade it or "unsanctify" it.

So, everyone, all aboard the marriage track.

Then they too can file for divorce when they spouse gets really mad at them and starts withholding sex. Now, that is equality.

Seriously though, it bothers me a great deal that gay marriage isn't legal. My husband is from Provincetown and we seriously considered NOT getting legally married because soooo many of our friends can't. BUT luckily now, you can get married in Massachusetts.

I support love, kindness, tolerance, equality, family and friendship. None of those are threatened by gay marriage but only enhanced when more people are doing the love, kindness, tolerance, equality, family and friendship thing.

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