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May 13, 2006

Do you ever notice how complaining to your friends about your partner/spouse feels so much more cathartic than actually complaining to said person. Why is that? You would think the most direct route would yield the most satisfaction, but for me , no. How is it that you resolve issues that have been present all along, but just didn't really matter all that much. I am told that I am guilty of not letting the little things go. I feel my mother haunting me for sure. Is that really me who is bitching about where my husband puts the dishes or the sheets? Why do I give a crap, really? They are clean. They are put away. There are more things to worry about. 

Prioritize, as one of my BF and I were discussing. So, is it my priorities that matter, or my husbands? Who wins? I always have stool by the wisdom I have learned from being married/with someone for 14 years (this june), that it doesn't really matter who is right or wrong, it is who ever wants/needs it more. That was more clear to see, but lately, I think we have to fight about who wants it more too, not just who is correct in the argument.

I am at a loss. So much psychological shit…so little time to work it out.

I am reading in my Psych class that the in-congruence between your true personality (what is perceived by the world) and what you believe to be true about yourself will have a direct affect on  your self efficacy. The better your self perception, or how closely it matches reality, the happier and more successful you will be.

Right now I feel a great incongruence between how happy my marriage is and what it really is. Which really sucks because my husband and I are madly in love with one another. Is this like a mid-life crisis for marriage? Are we really trying to buy that impractical sports car and get our ear pierced and that is what all this fuss is about.  

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